Inner Insights

Karma

2011-02-28T14:12:00.000-08:00

It always gets a bad rap.
But karma is what we make it.

Simply put, the energy you send out is the energy you get back.

If you send out peace and kindness you will receive peace and kindness back. It’s the universe working for us, not against us in the most perfect way.

It is the fairest and best teacher we could have. By reflecting back exactly what we are sending out we have the chance to see what we most need to learn for our spiritual growth.

If you judge others, guess what? You will be judged!

You will be given the opportunity to feel within yourself how you may have made another feel. It brings new meaning to the saying “love your brother as yourself” because how you love your brother is how you yourself will be loved.

If you say to yourself, “man, being judged by others feels terrible” then you can learn from that. Down the road when you are presented with another opportunity to judge someone you can make a better choice for yourself.

Maybe you can choose acceptance instead of judgment.

If you do, you will bring more accepting people into your life. Every time you choose to accept another and not judge them, you get acceptance instead of judgment back. Fair enough?

If you want to become more aware of how karma is working in your life, here are four tips to help you:

1. Look at your actions, are you being what you want in your life? Are you always in a hurry, rushing here and there? If you are, you may be sending out chaos and disharmony. When you rush, your heart beats fast, and you get nervous and upset. Where is the harmony in that? When you race around it is very hard to show patience or compassion for others. It’s not easy to think about others feelings either. When you hear yourself say, “I am so stressed, I need some peace in my life!” Well, you probably do, but that is not what you’ve been creating for yourself. So you decide to take a vacation or meditation class and what happens? The crowding and rushing comes into your mind and it’s very hard for you to relax. To create a calm and peaceful life you have to act calm and peaceful. You have to slow down, be patient, and be considerate of yourself and others. Karma says so.

2. Examine the motivation behind your actions. How? By watching the patterns in your life. When your intentions come from a positive place they are aligned with the energy of the universe, which is very positive, and very loving. If you are not aligned with that energy the same lessons will be brought to you over and over so you can make different choices that will align you closer with the universe.

Have you ever felt like your life was going around in circles? Do the same things keep happening to you over and over? If those things are good – terrific! But if the patterns are not so terrific, it may be time to make some new choices.

Have you ever worked hard to reach a goal and just when you are about to attain it something happens to ruin it? It’s Karma coming around to teach you something new about yourself. Maybe you have a fear of success? Or maybe through fear and a lack of trust in the universe you believe that what you want won’t be provided for you. Sometimes we (unknowingly) chase things away because we become so attached to the outcome we feel desperate to have it. Then, it has become a need instead of a desire.

Every lesson you are given that you don’t learn gets repeated out of love from the universe to help you grow. So if you feel like the same situations keep happening over and over – they probably are! The good news? Learn the lesson and the cycle ends.

3. Learn to walk around negativity and chaos. Buy into it and it will affect you. Why? Because letting yourself become involved in it causes you to attach your energy or karma to it. Let me give you an example. Think about the deep divide between Democrats and Republicans in our country right now. I have had people get very aggressive with me if their opinion differs from my opinion in regard to politics. People have actually tried to attack me personally for my beliefs. Most of the time I can walk away from it without reacting. React to it and I am allowing my energy to become negative and angry. That is not what I want to bring toward myself. So when someone is trying to convince you to believe the way they do, walk away! Don’t buy into the ego’s need to be right. You don’t need to convince anyone to believe the way you do. If you know what is right and true for you, you won’t feel as threatened and you won’t feel the urge to judge another for what is right for them. See it as two people with different opinions, agree to disagree and move on through your day.

4. Use Karma as a tool. Many of you have heard of the book “The Secret”. It’s a book about the law of attraction or Karma. Send out positivity and that’s what you will attract back. That is “the secret”. Understand that principle fully and you can use Karma as a tool to create what you want in your life.

When your intentions come from a loving and peaceful place instead of a fearful and angry place, then you will get loving and peaceful people and situations coming into your life. Thoughts, words and actions are karmically binding. Why not bind yourself with good thoughts, positive statements and affirmations? Why not bind yourself with nature, beauty, gentleness, compassion, joy, love and harmony? Love everything beautiful you see around you - the tiniest flower or the grandest tree. Loving the tiniest blade of grass means as much as loving the greatest human being! Love is love! Anything living or non living - bless it! Send love to it! When you see hatred or anger – show kindness, send out peaceful and harmonious thoughts or prayers! When you are kind and compassionate with people that are angry or hostile it changes the energy. It softens it. Then, not only will you be helping the situation, you will also be sending kindness and compassion back to yourself. Now that’s perfection, don’t you think?

So let’s stop giving karma such a bad rap.

It’s not a punishment – it’s an opportunity – if we can learn from it.

I’m going to send out more gentleness, compassion, love and joy this year because not only does that make me happy it’s also what I want more of in my own life.

How about you?

Just Say "NO" period

2010-12-08T07:54:00.000-08:00

My life would have been so different if I had just learned that word. But because I did not, my life has been reduced to a game of dodge ball. These are the thoughts weaving across my mind as I lay crouched behind the tomato bin at the local supermarket. “Please don’t need tomatoes!” I am saying over and over like a meditation mantra, all the while scanning the perimeter for an exit. I am ready to abandon my shopping cart and run, but there are no exits that I can see nearby. I am waiting, too scared to make a move or to even look to see if she is coming. And then I hear it.

“Carol! What are you doing?”
The hair on the back of my neck is standing straight up as I fumble to get up and turn around. There is nothing I can do now. I have been caught and I have no explanation for crouching in fetal position behind the tomato bin. Now it is just a matter of minutes before she will rope me in. I am determined not to do something I really don’t want to do, this time.

“Oh hi, Beth. “ I say without enthusiasm “I was just making sure there weren’t any tomatoes under there. I motion with my hand toward the bin. How are you?”
“Oh I am just fine. I want to invite you over for a party this Saturday night.”
“Oh?” I managed to squeak out
“Yes, it’s a jewelry party and the more people that come and buy stuff, the more free jewelry I get. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“Oh yeah.” I answer with a hint of sarcasm
“Oh good then you will come! Great! See ya at eight. Gotta run!”
“Uh...” I said stunned. I couldn’t figure out what just happened. I didn’t even get the chance to answer and she was gone. I felt like a calf at the rodeo roped in less than a minute. Even my tongue had been tied. I tried to go over it again in my mind unsure of how it all happened.

Without that word in my life I realized I would never have the freedom I so desired. I had to take drastic measures and so right then I decided to start my own support group. I called them the CSN group for “Cannot Say No.” We banded together quickly and began to see how much we really all had in common. The one word we didn’t know and couldn’t say was “No” and we knew we would eventually all have to overcome it. Otherwise our fate would be determined. We would undoubtedly create the disease and would become PP’s which none of us wanted to become. PP’s were the people pleasers whose whole life was to selflessly give to others and forget about themselves. We all saw them - tired and angry at church and PTO functions. We all knew if we didn’t straighten up soon, we too would walk the PP path.

We each took turns telling our story. Martha was first. “Hi, my name is Martha, and I am thinking of quitting my religion” she stated. “I just can’t keep going on like this!” she cried. Had she had a change of heart we asked? “No” said Martha. Did she feel another religion suited her better? Had the church become to too dogmatic and repressive? “No, no, no!” cried Martha. “It’s the volunteer work. I can’t keep going on like this. I am exhausted.” And we all sat in awe as she went on to explain. Someone at the church had found out she was a CSN, they had found out that Martha could not say no. So every year when they made a list of volunteers they put Martha’s name first. The list was posted in the secretary’s office. “And then came the calls!” she cried. “And then the letters and the questions made directly to her at church”. She had become a slave to the church and there was nothing left for Martha to do. “I have to quit it,” she declared. “It’s the only way.” “Martha!” I exclaimed, “there may be another way…” We put our heads together and agreed in unison-we would have to learn how to say “no” and to once and for all stand up for our right to be free.

“Things are just not the way they used to be.” I explained. The DAN’s are getting more aggressive. The DAN’s were the people who “Don’t Accept No” for an answer. They were not even giving time for answers anymore. We realized we were being overpowered and it was time to fight.

We began our tactical training. We began to learn how to just say “no.” We began with the phrase “I don’t no” because at least most of us could say that truthfully enough. We practiced and practiced it cheering each other on. We role played it and it sounded something like this…

Hi Vivian! I want you to work overtime this week.
I don’t no.
What do you mean, you don’t know?
I don’t no.

It sounded a bit funny but it was a huge step forward from yes. We were all able to go to “I don’t no” by the end of our first six weeks together. But we knew we had to go one giant step further. “I don’t know” only bought you some time before you had to answer “yes” or “no” and not one in the group could even whisper “the word” yet.

We set up a secret night meeting in the woods where no one would see us. We were going to do a group chant around the fire, just to get used to voicing the word. We were all very nervous, unsure of whether we could take this next step or not. Cindy pretended she couldn’t come because she was sick, but we all knew it was because she was scared to death to utter that word that had eluded her all her life.

There we were grown woman searching for our freedom, hoping to become the next generation of nay sayers. We looked forward to the honor. And so around the bon fire we vowed to each other to take our power back. We made the shift from “I don’t know” to just plain vanilla – no.

That night by the warmth of the fire we chanted “no” until our face muscles had memorized the motion. We all knew we had broken through an unspeakable barrier and that we had taken step one on the road to beating the PP disease.

Every week after that we each had to come up with specific scenarios to role play with one another. We had begun phase three, “Honing the NO” until we could answer a DAN without even a hint of an excuse. There are many “no’s” (as you know) but we had to start with Phase two “no”. We call it the “no of excuses.” NOE was the “no” most often used by beginners who felt their “no” could not stand on its own syllable. For them, no had to be followed with a long list of reasons why their “no” was legit.

I remember trying out the Phase Two “no” on a DAN who had invited me to a pool party. I had mustered up the courage for a Phase Three “no” but it didn’t cut the mustard. I had said it with as much authority and as deliberateness as I could “No, I can’t make it.” I said into the phone, quivering. And then it came. The dreaded, “Why not?” Oh she was good, I thought, she was very good. And I lost my nerve and composure and began spitting out answers in a wave of chopped sentences, “because I feel like being alone and because I have no one to watch Jonathan and because I have yard work to do and because I don’t have a bathing suit.” I couldn’t stop it. It had just streamed out and then came the rope so quickly and easily around my neck as she answered each of my excuses, and tread all over them. “You have to come, I insist, just bring Jonathan, I have a bathing suit you can use and just come after you get the lawn work done.” My shoulders slumped. I had been beaten by my own excuses. I had not been able to stand up with enough power. I realized on my way to the pool party that there must be a “no” out there that could pack a bigger punch. I had to find it and I had to find it fast.

At the next meeting Martha told the group about the effectiveness of a tearful, almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown “no.” She had used it at church for the past two weeks and had been quite successful. They had called others to do her usual volunteer work. “I realized” she said, “that someone else will do it even if I can’t. I always thought if I didn’t do it no one would.” So we practiced her no, trying to bring up tears at the very hint of someone trying to infringe upon our lives.

But, what we found out was this “no” is not a no that can be used too often. It can be used here and there but it cannot be the consistent “no” we were all looking for. We found that out at the next meeting when Martha told us her Uncle Mack had passed away and no one believed her story. She had ended up crying her way through the planning of the church tag sale. Thus we labeled this “the Boy Who Cried Wolf No” only to be used in dire emergencies. No, we knew that night what we needed was something more honest and forthright, that could really pack a punch.

That is how we stumbled upon the “No (period).” We began to see that “No” was at its strongest and most powerful when used as a whole sentence. No. That is it. That was the no that would lead us out of a life based on the needs and expectations of others. All we had to do was just say no.

Oh and we did. We learned to celebrate this no. It was our hero no. It was our salvation and we all knew what we had to do. We practiced the no until it could stand alone. Some of us softened it with “No, it just doesn’t work for me.” And that “no” we found could go a long way. We had progressed to the final phase of our training, we had become master “nay sayers” and we all felt the power.

We had changed our destiny and had turned our back to the path of the people pleaser. No longer would we ever crouch down to a tomato bin again, but would hold our head high armed with our best weapon - our stand-alone “No.” From this day forward we could proudly walk through life with our head held high, knowing we had the power to make it our own once again.

The Gap

2010-05-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

As far back as I can remember I have always taken myself too seriously. I have even taken parts of myself too seriously. I remember when I was in fourth or fifth grade I took my two front teeth way too seriously. Oh I can remember the horror as I looked into the bathroom mirror every morning at the two permanent teeth that had emerged from my gums. They were miles apart. Every morning I would wake up wide-eyed to see if my prayers had been answered. “Please let them make up and move closer together, ” I would pray. But alas, their answer was a repeated “no” and I felt a certain destiny - I would be likened to Erma Bombeck for the rest of my ill-fated life.

Now don’t get me wrong, I liked Erma. I would read her articles every week and laugh until I popped buttons. I thought she was really funny. But, I did not want to look like her. One morning taped to the bathroom mirror was an article she had written about her two crater spaced front teeth. I raced through the article until I had settled on the meaning that had subtly weaved its way through the humor: it was to love yourself the way you are, even if you could fit a number two pencil between the gap in your two front teeth and dangle it there. I decided to think about it for a while and finally decided that I was really going to be okay, even with crazy-gapped front teeth. It had an amazingly calming effect on me.

I did hear years later, however, that she had cosmetically reduced the gap between her teeth, making me wonder if it all wasn’t just a farce. Either way, I believed her words until high school when I forgot about that space. My teeth had miraculously moved together after all.

I learned so much through that gap. I learned not to rely so much on what I looked like on the outside but to try to be a better person on the inside. At least, I reasoned, that was something I would have more control over.

Chief Seattle's Letter and the Sacredness of the Earth

2010-04-30T12:33:00.000-07:00

Chief Seattle was chief of the Suquamish Indians and allegedly wrote to the American Government in the 1800's. This is one version of that letter. Listen to the message. I think it is a message we are in need of hearing today.

CHIEF SEATTLE'S LETTER
"The President in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land. But how can you buy or sell the sky? the land? The idea is strange to us. If we do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?

Every part of the earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every meadow, every humming insect. All are holy in the memory and experience of my people.

We know the sap which courses through the trees as we know the blood that courses through our veins. We are part of the earth and it is part of us. The perfumed flowers are our sisters. The bear, the deer, the great eagle, these are our brothers. The rocky crests, the dew in the meadow, the body heat of the pony, and man all belong to the same family.

The shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not just water, but the blood of our ancestors. If we sell you our land, you must remember that it is sacred. Each glossy reflection in the clear waters of the lakes tells of events and memories in the life of my people. The water's murmur is the voice of my father's father.

The rivers are our brothers. They quench our thirst. They carry our canoes and feed our children. So you must give the rivers the kindness that you would give any brother.
If we sell you our land, remember that the air is precious to us, that the air shares its spirit with all the life that it supports. The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also received his last sigh. The wind also gives our children the spirit of life. So if we sell our land, you must keep it apart and sacred, as a place where man can go to taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow flowers.

Will you teach your children what we have taught our children? That the earth is our mother? What befalls the earth befalls all the sons of the earth.

This we know: the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

One thing we know: our God is also your God. The earth is precious to him and to harm the earth is to heap contempt on its creator.

Your destiny is a mystery to us. What will happen when the buffalo are all slaughtered? The wild horses tamed? What will happen when the secret corners of the forest are heavy with the scent of many men and the view of the ripe hills is blotted with talking wires? Where will the thicket be? Gone! Where will the eagle be? Gone! And what is to say goodbye to the swift pony and then hunt? The end of living and the beginning of survival.

When the last red man has vanished with this wilderness, and his memory is only the shadow of a cloud moving across the prairie, will these shores and forests still be here? Will there be any of the spirit of my people left?

We love this earth as a newborn loves its mother's heartbeat. So, if we sell you our land, love it as we have loved it. Care for it, as we have cared for it. Hold in your mind the memory of the land as it is when you receive it. Preserve the land for all children, and love it, as God loves us.

As we are part of the land, you too are part of the land. This earth is precious to us. It is also precious to you.

One thing we know - there is only one God. No man, be he Red man or White man, can be apart. We ARE all brothers after all."

After reading this passage I began thinking of my own experience days earlier that I wrote about. It reminded me of my own connection with the earth and how I would like to impart this message to my son Jonathan some day. My parents imparted this love of the earth through their gardening. My father would come home every night, take off his suit and put on his jeans and boots. He would carefully tend to each plant, watering, weeding, tying, fertilizing while my mother was picking what we would eat for dinner. That was what I remember most about growing up: how much we honored the earth and how important it was in our lives. I recognize that as a whole, we have lost our connection with the earth. Most of us are not growing our own food anymore and we have long forgetten how to make bread from grain or preserve our own fruits and vegetables.

I stay connected to many important things through gardening. My father is with me in memory as I tend to each plant. Time in the garden has become my meditation time, a way go within, be silent and just let go of any stress I may be holding. Every season it seems like I feel closer and more appreciative of my time with nature. I am amazed at the humbleness of dirt and the potential of life all held in one tiny seed. Nature is miraculous and I am always happy to play my very tiny part in the miracle. I am kneeling over the mounded dirt, poking holes gently and dropping tiny dried up peas into each hole, one after another. I pull the blanket of earth over each one and pat it down. The earth is warm, almost womblike as I pat it.

Next door the bells from the church are calling its members to come in and get close to God. They are hurrying with their shiny shoes and nice dresses. I smile as I look down at my worn out boots, ankle deep in dirt, my knees caked as I kneel to the earth in prayer and reverance for life's potential in the midst of a small pea. We are not too different after all except I see God everywhere in everything. I am feeling joyous, unhurried, feeling the sun and the wind, my hands in the dirt. I am happy to be simple and to be me in that moment awaiting the rain that will start new life and new growth beneath these worn out boots. I am awake watching, really seeing. I hope that I never take life for granted, that I never take the earth for granted. The earth is so precious and what we do with it we do to ourselves and to our children. And the words of Chief Seattle echo in my head..."the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself. "

And the bells chime again.

Inspiring you to live your dreams

2010-03-14T23:54:00.000-07:00

All victors are visionaries first! Give yourself permission to dream! Imagine yourself without limitations! Tear down the walls of fear, old habits and beliefs that keep you feeling trapped in your own life. There are no boundaries but those created by the mind. We will help you remove these boundaries so you can feel the expansion, the abundance and the joy that comes from living authentically.

The Road To Peace Starts Within

2010-02-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

“When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made and impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could have indeed changed the world.”

-Author Unknown

Many of us feel helpless to change the current circumstances of the world. We can find many things to blame for the lack of peace and harmony we are feeling as a country right now. But we are not helpless. Each of us has the power to effect change. How? By creating the peace and harmony we want to see in the world in our own lives.

You cannot change anything outside of you, but you can effect change by changing yourself. Become aware of the energy you are sending out into the world. Stop and think: what are you sending out into the world right now? Have you found peace, harmony, love and acceptance for yourself? If so, that is what you are sharing with the world and that is very powerful. Do you feel fear, anxiety, chaos and confusion? If so, this is what you are sharing with the world and this too is very powerful.

Sometimes it is difficult to see how our individual choices impact the world around us. But in trying times remember you can make a difference by starting with yourself. Walk the path of self-discovery and become aware of all the honor, love, truth, acceptance and understanding you have within. In time you will be able to extend this feeling to your family, your neighbors and others in your life. I believe this is the most valuable gift we can give to ourselves and share with the world at this time.

Empowering you to be yourself

2010-01-14T21:54:00.000-08:00

You are the artist and creator of your life's portrait. Who are you? What will you create? You are the only one who can answer these questions. Yet how many times do we allow the expectations, opinions, beliefs or needs of others to dictate the answers for us? When we allow others to decide who we are and what is right for us, we are giving our power away. Put the trust and power back in you! I want to help you become aware of when you give up your power and provide you with specific ways to handle those situations as they arise. This will help you find the courage to be yourself and live the life you were meant to live. Take back your life!